Forgive’O’clock

Hey TLPTribe, 

Blog-besties, this journey has been so vulnerable, exposing, and revealing at the same time. To be candid, forgiveness was not on my radar to write about. However, the past two weeks have been very enlightening. Conversations with my loved ones have consistently centered around overcoming hurt, extending forgiveness, and understanding that we are all products of grace and mercy. I have been praying to be sensitive to what God really wants me to write. So here we are, sharing about forgiveness.

The beauty of our individual and collective journeys is that they are meant to sharpen us. I will maintain this each time you hear from me. Your experience is to convert you closer to the image of Christ and not divert you from the light. 

Our humanity is both a blessing and, at times, a stumbling block in moving forward to what God genuinely has for us. We tend to attach emotions to decision-making, memories, and situations – whether good or bad. When trauma happens, we are easily triggered by the emotions it causes, rather than being objective and seeing through the lens of light that allows us to make righteous decisions. There’s a proverb that says, “Time heals all wounds.” While there is truth to that, if you find yourself constantly replaying the trauma and its associated emotions in your mind, then time alone cannot bring healing.

Being a feeler myself, I have been blessed with beautiful souls around me who allow me to vent, cry on their shoulders, and always direct me back to the Father. I have come to a personal resolution to yield in the place of prayer—repeatedly—until healing reaches the depths of my soul.

Our minds and emotions are so powerful that we often find ourselves in a tug-of-war with the Holy Spirit, all in the name of proving we are right. But what happens when the reverse is the case? I’m certain you’ve been in the shoes of the offender before. Were you trying to justify your actions, or did you choose to admit your fault and seek reconciliation? While we can’t control the actions of others, we are responsible for our own.

Understand that you cannot give what you don’t have. I’ve heard this from my bestie so many times that I could write a song about it—lol. On a side note, please surround yourself with truthful people. People whose honesty shapes you, who understand the beauty of imperfection and love you regardless. Bestie, you’re a real one!

So, what do we mean by that?

Let’s envision ourselves as trees:

Before a tree is planted, the type of tree is chosen:

“Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew you intimately. I had divine plans for you before I gave you life, and I set you apart and chose you to be mine. You are my prophetic gift to the nations.” (Jeremiah 1:5)

The right location is chosen:

“Could there be any other god like Yahweh? For there is not a more secure foundation than you.” (Psalm 18:31)

Watering and nourishment are given:

“What delight comes to the one who follows God’s ways! He won’t walk in step with the wicked, nor share the sinner’s way. His passion is to remain true to the Word of I AM, meditating day and night on the true revelation of light. He will be standing firm like a flourishing tree planted by God’s design, deeply rooted by brooks of bliss, bearing fruit in every season of life. He is never dry, never fainting, ever blessed, ever prosperous.” (Psalm 1:1-3)

It takes time for a tree to blossom. Harsh weather or necessary pruning may delay growth (or expedite the process of growth!). But the tree will flourish if it stays connected to its source and absorbs the nutrients it is given. Forgiveness is hard because we have not yet mastered forgiving ourselves. Depending on how we were raised, perfectionism and other ingrained ideologies can make this spiritual practice even more difficult.

The Bible often refers to us bearing fruit, having our foundations in Christ, Him being the vine, and us being the branches. In all of these passages, connection is key. We can’t forgive because we do not love. Especially ourselves.

So, let me ask: Have you forgiven yourself?

Forgiven yourself for the times you didn’t meet man-made standards? For the mistakes that altered your path (but still worked out for your good)? For the shame and difficulties, you endured? Have you given yourself grace for the times you fell, lied, betrayed, gossiped, falsely judged, or whatever else comes to mind?

Do you feel compelled to uphold a system or standard God never required, just to prove you’ve changed? Instead of letting Him do the transformative work inside you? If so, you might not have truly forgiven yourself—and if you haven’t, it will be hard to forgive others. You can’t give what you haven’t given to yourself. Your understanding of why you are in Him, and He in you, is vital. Becoming like Him and experiencing his freedom is the goal.

Peter asked in Matthew 18 how many times we should forgive those who have offended us:
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

The exchange between Peter and Jesus makes me laugh. It’s like Peter needing to double-check if he heard right. *Laughs in scripture*. We’ve got work to do! Let this be the reminder that forgiveness starts with us, so it can flow like a river to everyone else.

This week, sit with your Father:

• Ask Him for mercy (Psalm 51)
• Ask Him to reveal areas where you haven’t forgiven yourself
• Release those burdens at His feet (Matthew 11:28)
• Ask Him to show you how He sees you (Psalm 139:14, Isaiah 43:3, 1 Cor 6:19-20, Romans 8:39)
• Ask Him to expand you in love, with yourself as the first recipient

I would love to hear from you in the comments:

How have you been able to practice self-love and self-forgiveness?

In the coming weeks, we’ll dig deeper into forgiveness. But we must start with ourselves first.